I haven’t had any form of structure for as long as I can remember. the last time I think I had structure was when I was in education at Sixth Form – and even that is a bit of a stretch as I hardly committed to it.

If I am honest with myself, I haven’t had structure since leaving school in 2012. 2012. It is now 2023. It has been 11 years. In these 11 years, a lot has happened to me that has shaped me into the person I am today. Some would say I have grown and matured, and others would say the opposite about me. Others would say that I haven’t changed and thank me for not changing. Everyone is different, I guess. A lot has gone on, and time has flown by so quickly that I still think I am processing everything somehow.

I’d be lying if I said my life has been structured in the past 11 years because it hasn’t. It used to bother me for a while that I did not have any structure, and it affected me deeply, but I have noticed that everyone has different ways and views as to what structure means to them – in a way, it seems subjective to every person.

I used to think that for someone to have any form of structure in their lives, they must have everything coming together – have life figured out, have everything worked out and are loving and enjoying life. The reality is that is not the case. On the outside, looking in may seem like that, but things are never as they appear in a person’s life – we never truly know what everyone is thinking or going through themselves.

Conversing with people I believed had structure and everything in their life together made me realise that we are all here in this world, winging it as the days go by. Now, of course, there will be people who cannot focus or complete anything without a structured setting – they can’t even go a day without a coffee; otherwise, everything will be thrown off for them. But that does not necessarily mean that they have everything together.

I know people who need some form of structure or aim to survive –without it, their lives will fall apart. I know people like me and take every day as it comes, living in the moment. The point is that we all have our ways, beliefs and aims of tackling things – whether in a structured manner or not.

My main reason for this post is to explain how I am trying to gain some form of structure in my life. Today marks One Week in my One Month social media disconnection, and I have felt more balanced and semi-structured in some ways. By structure, I mean sleeping earlier, waking up earlier, dedicating time to reading and writing, and even cooking, to be honest.

This is probably the first time I have admitted that I do not have structure. I have heard it endlessly from people in my life, but I do not learn or listen by being told or spoken down to – I have to sit, think and reflect within myself. By doing this, I aim to learn how to add specific tasks, desires, and goals and tackle them so my life can be structured.