Doubt is something that can surround you in your life in many forms. It can be in the form of the energy you put out and receive, the people around you, and it can also be in the form of yourself. Doubt has been a thing that has troubled me for some time. I tend to doubt myself with many things; it could be about my career, future, health, etc.
To write a post about doubt, I had to search for the meaning of doubt.
What is Doubt?
- To be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe
- A feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction
- Feel uncertain about something.
As much as I doubt myself, I believe that my ability to do anything is undeniable. I have the utmost confidence and belief in myself to do anything I put my mind to. There could be something that I know there is a high chance that I would not be able to do, and I still would believe in myself, and I would believe in myself to create the confidence I need to succeed at anything. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know myself and know what I can or can’t do. But no one can tell me I have no chance of doing anything, especially when I know what I can do with anything I put my mind to.
Whenever I take on something, a new challenge, or a new goal, I believe that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. This is how it starts for me. The main reason why I begin to doubt myself is when people question why I think I can do what I set out to do. If they don’t question, they then say that they don’t think I would be able to do it or I won’t keep up with it. The second I hear something remotely like that, the feeling of doubt surrounds my entire being.
As I said, I know myself and know what I can and can’t do. I know my weaknesses from my strengths, but I also know that I can adapt to any scenario. With a few tries at a new task, I know I will be able to complete what I set out to do, if not master it. No one can tell me I have no chance of doing anything or try to cast their doubt and insecurities in their life onto me.
I have felt doubt for as long as I can remember. I guess it started from home and being the youngest in the household. My ability to do anything or know anything would be questioned, which would subconsciously cast doubt in my mind about things. I believe it even happens to this day, but I am more aware of it, and I have the ability and control not to let it get me down as I did when I was younger. I try to remain positive in a space where negativity can be frequent, even though it is challenging.
People tend to doubt others because they doubt themselves, which eventually leads to them doubting others around them. It could be something so small to you, and someone will add their two cents that will even have you doubting yourself and your ability to accomplish anything. The thing is, that is their issue, not yours. When wanting to achieve something, you have to push through all the negativity and sly backhanded comments that may be hurtful. Who will stop you from achieving a goal that you set for yourself? No one, except yourself. It took me a while to end up thinking like this, and I’ve only started feeling like this recently if I am honest.
There have been endless occasions where I have felt like doubt has been cast over me, and I just fell into it. I believed in the doubt. In 2019, I signed up for a charity boxing match. I have wanted to try Boxing for the longest time, and I took it as a sign when I saw an advert. Once I signed up, I was excited and told those closest to me about doing it. Straight away, from people you wouldn’t think it would come from, I was met with ‘you’re not going to keep up with it’, ‘how long will this be for’. Straight away, doubt was implanted into my mind.
I won’t lie and say that I completed the training with my whole heart because I didn’t. After hearing those comments, I doubted myself, and I slipped after a few weeks. I missed a few training sessions but made sure I made at least half of them, which was required to participate. I even almost quit. Luckily, I found myself and could get back on the horse and continue with the training. I took an L in that match, but it is what it is. As someone who hates losing, I know I will give it a go another time to try and get the W.
As bad as it sounds, doubt mainly comes from those closest to you, which hurts even more. That is where my drive to prove people wrong comes from most. In a way, it relates to the post I wrote about being wrong. I must prove people wrong because they doubt me. When it comes to those closest to me, it draws many emotions from me, anger and sadness being the main two.
It got to a point where I would go above and beyond to ensure that they were wrong, which essentially defeated the purpose of why I wanted to do anything. Instead of doing it to better myself and accomplish things for myself, I was doing the tasks, goals, and achievements to prove those who doubted me wrong. I lost the true meaning of why I was doing these things. The line between doing something to prove people wrong and doing things for myself was blurred, preventing me from progressing. All because of doubt.
I have had to dig down deep so that I wouldn’t let anyone’s doubt be put upon me. I had to overcome it. I believe anyone can do anything they set themselves out to do. Recently, I was complimented on my self-belief to do anything for the first time. Where I would usually be met with negativity about it, I was met with the opposite.
My response to the compliment was, ‘if I don’t believe in myself, who will believe in me?’ Which, to me, is the perfect way to summarise this post. Everyone has their doubts themselves, but it is up to them to overcome them. Letting others who doubt you affect your belief in what you can do will hinder your progress in life. If they doubt you, that is on them and not your burden. You can’t do things to prove people wrong without holding yourself back in life.
As I am currently writing this, I am about 75% confident in my abilities to do anything I set for myself. I still doubt myself and let what others say affect me in one way or another. I don’t believe that I will ever be 100% confident with things because I’m human; I will always have my doubts about things like everybody else. However, I do think that I’ll be able to be 95% confident in my abilities to achieve anything with a bit of time and patience.