Earlier last year, I made a promise to myself. That promise was to post one personal piece and one review twice a week. I promised myself to try and be consistent – and like most things, that promise I made myself fell through.
I’m a bit rusty. It has been eight months since I have sat down at my laptop and tried to fill in a blank page, eight months since I have posted anything publicly. Eight months since I have sat down to put my thoughts to the page. The first time I ever wrote anything to post publicly, there was a compelling feeling I had within myself to share my story; the urge I had to do it was hard to ignore. That feeling has never left; the only difference is that life has gotten in the way of attempting to do so.
I’d say that life had stopped me, but the reality is that I have stopped myself. I could easily set my laptop up on my desk and start writing, but my self-doubt always overtakes my drive or motivation I had to do it. The second I feel optimistic and I am finally on track where I want to be in life, something occurs to throw me off track – and I unintentionally allow it to. I have written about commitment, discipline, routine, and growth, to name a few. In previous posts, I stated that each topic I have written about relates to one another, and they do.
I get to points where I sit and think about what I want and what I want to do with myself. I speak to those closest to me and converse with them about life, how hard it can be, and the world’s pressures today. Talking with other people gives me many perspectives; it makes me realise that I am not the only one who thinks and feels the way I do about things. Which, in a way, is a relief.
For someone to do anything in life, no matter what it may be, they need consistency. I know people who can be consistent with absolute ease, and I also know people like myself who struggle to be consistent with things, whether it is a diet, the gym or just life in general. I struggle to remain consistent in nearly enough most aspects of my life, and I can’t blame anyone apart from myself for that.
What is Consistency?
- The quality of always behaving or performing in a similar way or of always happening similarly
There was a time in my life when I used to worry about my age, my position, and absolutely everything. Time and life put me in my place about worrying constantly. We are all humans with our paths, goals and perceptions of life.
Looking back at my late teens and early twenties, I’ve realised that I never did things for myself. I never put myself first and did anything for the better of myself. I constantly put others’ feelings before mine and put others’ needs above those closest to me and myself, things I have since learned from. I would do things because I thought it was something I needed to do because everyone around me was doing it. Things such as going to university – I only went for the lifestyle, to live away from home and be around friends, not for the actual education. Had I shown consistency and stuck with the apprenticeship I was in, I most likely wouldn’t have experienced the mental and physical hardship I faced while at university.
I’m a big believer that everything happens for a reason, so I try my best not to live with regrets. Had I not gone to university, I wouldn’t be the man I am today, with the experience to learn from my past. I believe that the longer you dwell on things you haven’t done or regret, the longer it prevents you from progressing in life.
Comparing myself to others was something that I used to do, and in a way, I kind of still do sometimes, not in the form of jealousy, but putting myself down and telling myself that I should be doing better, that I should be in a better position in life. I was always in denial about myself and my ability to do things. In denial of my consistency to stick to something. I would act as if I was trying my hardest when I was doing the bare minimum in reality. It reached a point where I had to be honest with myself and stop comparing my situation to others.
To increase my ability to remain consistent, I need to find the right balance between how to do things and when to do them. I focus too much on the wrong things rather than the things that will better myself for my future. I need to be harder on myself and continue pushing myself to improve my consistency. In order to get better at being consistent, I need to improve my consistency with multiple things within my life; including my relationships with people.