Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I was thinking of my future and thinking of my life. In doing this, I had to think about my actions that contributed to my failures and the situations it has put me in. For as long as I can remember, I have had a terrible habit of leaving things undone, letting things go by, and putting things on the back burner. I would leave every single thing – communicating with people, I would leave it. Straightening my room, I would leave it – putting in extra work that would better my future; I would leave it. My go-to saying would be, ‘I’ll leave it until tomorrow’.
It got so bad that I wouldn’t even do it intentionally – my mind and body wired themselves to put things off – no matter the scenario. The time when it would be intentional would be when I would claim to be too tired; in reality, I wasn’t mentally prepared to do anything.
This year’s start wasn’t too great for me, so I decided to take approaches to work on myself in different ways. One of the ways was not to leave things until tomorrow. Almost every day, I would say I will do it tomorrow, I will leave it until tomorrow, I will handle it later, I will do it later, I will leave it until the weekend.
Tomorrow is never promised. So why did/do I keep putting things off? I have to ask myself this to bring myself to reality. Tomorrow is never promised. I have learned this more and more as I got older, but also as people I know that are my age have passed away, playing a significant factor in it.
I used to worry severely about my future, to the point that it used to scare me, and it affected me mentally. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted or wanted to do in my life – I had no sense of direction. I would think about the past and the time I wasted, dwelling on the what if I didn’t go to university? What if I tried harder in school? But now, I am no longer scared because I know how and who I am. I now live in the moment.
We live in a time where we no longer enjoy the moment, to take everything in. Everything has changed. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, what challenges I will face, or if I will even wake up tomorrow.
If there is one thing you can take from this post this morning, it is to live, enjoy, and take in today; live for the moment because we never know if there will be a tomorrow.